Depressing thoughts


Every so often, I read about someone taking their life due to severe depression – the latest being Robin Williams ( and every time I think of him, I remember a cheerful “Gooooood morning Vietnam !”)  . And then I typically read multiple articles on depression in twitter and facebook. I feel terrible for a while and then I move on.

Occasionally, right after I read these things – I start worrying that a lot of people around me that I care for are depressed. Once, I even asked a Psychiatrist ( who is related to me and with many fancy degrees ) if someone we knew in common showed signs of depression (based on a series of facebook posts) . Thankfully he set me straight quickly saying it did not look like signs of depression at all. I totally forgot about it till I read about Robin Williams yesterday. It is so easy to mis-diagnose mental illness. 

Even after his tragic death – when I think of Robin Williams, I still smile (albeit with a tinge of pain). My brain associates his name to fun and jokes. It is such a rude awakening that depression does not leave alone a man who cheered up millions of people. If it can happen to him – it can happen to you and me too. 

When it comes to suspected physical illness – I push friends and family hard to seek medical help if I suspect they are not in good health. Usually it is an effort they appreciate, and some might even take me up on it. But I am hesitant to push anyone to a mental health specialist given my lack of knowledge of symptoms and the social stigma they will face. .And there in lies the problem – because I think vast majority of people hesitate like I do and probably for exactly the same reasons.

I honestly don’t know what causes depression – but I am guessing some combination of nature and nurture are at play. Not sure what can be done about nature – but surely there are things about nurture that we can control to some extent if we knew better. The world around us is changing fast, and there are plenty of ways to abuse the multiple stimulants most people have access to – including kids. Restricting access might be hard – but educating everyone on consequences might be a good start.

The more I think about it – the absolute minimum thing to do is to start educating little kids in school about mental illness and to let them know that asking for help is the right thing to do if they or someone they know needs it. There is a reason I think this is the most sustainable way to do it. The first time I saw recycling done was in my 20s. And it took a serous effort for me to do it consistently. My little daughter learned it in play school and she does it by habit and reminds me when I slip. I know all of her friends do it too .

Of course there needs to be an education option for adults too – but there is enough information online etc in case anyone wants it. But for that “pull model” to work – there needs to be an open conversation without the usual social stigma. It can’t be just a conversation that happens for a week when a celebrity takes his life. It needs to happen in offices, schools, government and everywhere else. The more we talk – the more we will need information, and we will go find information and eventually a few more of us will know what to do about depression. It is needed – much needed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max Schireson, the most unusual CEO I know


My boss, Max Schireson, announced yesterday that he is stepping aside as the CEO of MongoDB and will become the deputy Chairman of our board. And he probably wrote the best piece ever that I have read from an outgoing CEO http://maxschireson.com/2014/08/05/1137/ .

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Last year, when I was considering employment at MongoDB – there were two things that drove me to that decision primarily. First – the promise of the product (which did not exactly need much convincing to be honest). Second – the chance to work with and learn from the most unusual CEO I have ever met . I had a few other options at great companies – and they had great CEOs too. But those were people who fit the “normal” definition of CEO – 100% extroverted, totally sales focused, impeccably dressed , driving a car as expensive as my home , bashing competitors in every sentence and selling me hard on why working for them was the best choice ever.

Max was a 180 degrees different from that ! If he claimed to be the CTO to me – I would not have suspected otherwise (well, at least till I met Eliot, the real CTO). He could switch from discussing business strategy to discussing query parallelization and database locking without missing a beat. 

My first meeting with Max was at the old MongoDB office in University Drive in Palo Alto. We had a good conversation – but I left that meeting with a feeling that he probably did not see a role for me. He barely looked me in my eye ( something I have been accused of in the past too when meeting people for the first time, and a “problem” that I have had to work really hard to minimize) – but he asked me a lot of questions on what I liked and not liked and so on . As you can imagine – I was confused on whether he was totally uninterested or REALLY interested in what I brought to the table.

So like what anyone else would do these days – I googled him, and found his blog. It was a fascinating read. Once I figured out he was a math geek – it all made sense to me quickly 🙂

Max invited me to meet other executives and founders and investors over the next few weeks . And he and I met a few times over breakfast and lunch in various Palo Alto restaurants. And in each successive meeting – the quality of conversation kept getting better (and yes, we looked each other in the eye a whole lot more) . Throughout the whole process – he never once pushed me to expedite my decision, or tried to sell me hard. He explained everything logically and made it clear that it was my decision to be made in as much (reasonable) time as I needed. I am usually pretty good in replying to emails on time – Max was about as close to real time as someone can get when I had a question for him. 

Max’s youngest daughter is the same age as my daughter – and I could clearly see how much he cared for his three kids and his wife. and how much he missed being with them given his busy schedule. That is something I could readily empathize – I struggle with that all the time too. I would not have had a good career if my wife did not make huge sacrifices. One day not too far from now, I hope I can do for my family what Max just did for his. 

It is not an exaggeration to say – when I accepted the job, it was as much about MongoDB (the product and the team Max had assembled) as it was about having a chance to work with Max. And after I joined and started to know other colleagues at MongoDB better – it was clear that this was a common theme. 

Max is sharp as the sharpest CEOs I know in technology. He can assimilate a lot of information quickly and run what-if scenarios . He is as passionate as anyone else at MongoDB today – but I have always admired how he put his head before his heart when he made decisions. When he felt he made bad decisions, he had no difficulty in acknowledging it and taking corrective actions. I have worked for him for only 4 months and I have broken a fair bit of glass in that time – and not once did I had to pause and think whether I had his support. If he wanted me to course correct – he just told me so. I can’t express in words how much it means to have a boss that gives me operational freedom, and still be available to help any time I needed his counsel. It definitely has helped me adjust my own leadership style.

Max says this in his blog

I recognize that by writing this I may be disqualifying myself from some future CEO role. Will that cost me tens of millions of dollars someday? Maybe.

My response is – you are absolutely wrong, Max ! Whenever you decide the timing is right for you – I think there will be plenty of great CEO opportunities for you to choose from. Thanks for everything you did and continue to do at MongoDB, Max . You have set the bar high for all leaders in making tough decisions for themselves and their companies . Rock on !

 

 

 

 

Work or Pleasure ? Both, of course


I am typing this from the beautiful city of Brussels . This is the last stop of a very busy business trip meeting key partners in Europe . I fly home early in the morning tomorrow

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The weather was perfect . I very rarely get to visit Europe in summer – so this was an especially enjoyable visit . And while jet lag made me tired towards end of the day for couple of days , the intense schedule made sure that I got adjusted to the time zone quickly.

Thanks to Luca , Tug, Koby and Guillaume – I had a full schedule this week , and now can barely stand up straight 🙂 . It was totally worth it – a full schedule every day in a different country and magically it all happened in as good a way as I could expect . I am blessed to lead such an incredible team and even more blessed to have partners who are “all in” on MongoDB.

I have some work related thoughts to post – but today, I am going to focus on the amazing personal experience this trip gave me as a traveller and as a foodie .

The transport system in Europe has always impressed me . When I landed in Zurich , I walked across to the railway station and caught a train to HB , and walked to the Marriott . The tall hotel building ruined for me the beauty of a great old town .

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Air travel is not always the most convenient or economic across countries , but trains and taxis compensate for that difficulty adequately . Since I don’t have elite status on European airlines – I got some pretty awful seats , and my knees are still pretty sore . Ouch !

I have more change in my pocket today than in any other previous trip to Europe that I can think of – thanks to the innumerable cab rides

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The food was pretty amazing . At Zurich – I had probably the best sol I ever had in my life , and the restaurant was amazing too – right on the lake . Thanks to my pal Phil Loewen for chauffeuring me around and giving great company

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In Barcelona , the tapas made me wonder how much Asian cuisine has influenced a classic Spanish thing

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In Madrid – I had the best Spanish omelette I have ever tasted ( the potatoes apparently are brought from a special region) , and some most amazing red wine . And the partner who took me there also was kind enough to explain the dishes and their origins and cultural impact very well . This restaurant is worth checking out if you are a meat lover – especially the “melt in your mouth” iberico Jamon

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And then there was the beautiful city of Paris . Crazy busy as always – but plenty of culture to soak in . Too bad I didn’t get time to walk around the city this time . But my local sales leader Yann took me to a nice lunch – also by a Water front – and I could sample some excellent French cuisine . It’s more art than food as always .

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Since I was on 5 flights back to back till reaching France, my colleague Tug and I took a train to Brussels . Such a nice experience – I think I will stick to trains a lot more on future trips

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Brussels is known for good beer, chocolates and waffles . I didn’t have any of that yet . When we reached Brussels yesterday – Tug mentioned an Indian dinner he had the last time he was here . Of course that meant we had to go find an Indian place for dinner and we did . It’s kind of ironic to come to Belgium and eat Desi Khana – but there is no denying I love indian cuisine the best . The restaurant was good – not great . The other shock was that they didn’t take credit cards !
That said – I did have a terrific lamb shank today at the restyrant at the Sheraton today where we met a large Belgian SI partner – and loved it . It was the first dish in this visit that made me remember how over sized American restaurant portions look like 🙂

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I would be remiss if I didn’t call out the coffee . I must have had 6 cups a day on average to get through the meetings and remain focused . The quality of coffee in all the countries this week has been high – and exceptionally so in France and Spain

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Hopefully I can find some chocolates tonight to take home for my wife and daughter . I need to get them both here on a vacation soon .

I will be back in few months – couldn’t cover UK, Germany , Italy and Netherlands this time . Not that I am really complaining – I don’t think I could have done meetings in 5 cities/countries a week two weeks in a row .