So it’s my birthday – and my mind is oscillating furiously between being too old and not growing up fast enough . It’s a strange feeling !
the boat that my 9 year old daughter made for my birthday
On one hand – I do feel rather old . I work in a company where vast majority of people I run into are smart, good looking twenty somethings. At a company party, in my first week there , I heard a woman colleague lamenting that she can’t keep up with the young crowd . So I asked her how old she was – and her answer was 29 ! I nearly broke down in tears ( and under my breath said something like – “shoot me dead now – actually poke me in both eyes before you shoot me, and drop kick me as I fall” π
And yet – talking to several friends my age and older who continue to work at large companies , and not all of them are thrilled with their status quo but for their own reasons they can’t move out – I feel like the young guy with free
spirit π
Ok that was a stretch – practically no one equates me with free spirit , but hey it’s my blog and I am going to take some blogger’s license here .
When I finished my MBA – I had a clear plan for retiring at 35. 35 came and went and I am nowhere close to retirement – which made it rather depressing , but I wrote it off as my MBA naΓ―vetΓ© . Now I am firmly convinced that I don’t ever want to retire – I think I will go nuts and will drive my family nuts if I do . What I need is periodic vacations – and I am slowly getting better at taking time off work . It’s one of my goals for when I grow up . The guy I need to thank the most for finally taking time off from work is my mate Dennis Howlett . He told me many times – with and without beer in our hands – how time off work helped him, and it kind of worked out that way for me too .
I used to take pride in my programming abilities – and looking back today, I had no right to be . I can still code in C , ABAP and a little bit in java . And over last few years, I figured out JavaScript and Hana – but clearly I am nowhere as good as I thought . Bad news – I doubt I can get a programmer job anymore to pay bills . I better forget that security net and focus on improving skills I need for my current job . There was a time when I could write 500 lines of code in a stretch with no syntax or compilation errors – and I used to take that for granted . Can’t do it any more – and it hurts !
On the bright side – what didn’t kill me made me stronger . All those hours spent tackling programming stuff is coming in very handy when I learn MongoDB – given my natural way of understanding something new is by comparing and contrasting with stuff I know from past . There is some light at the end of the tunnel after all .
Looking back – I am most thankful to some fascinating leaders I got to work for who paid it forward to let me be successful in my career . And I am incredibly proud of the people who came after me who I could help along their way . I know they will go places – and I would be proud to work for them one day . If I am ever successful in my life to deserve a good legacy – I want to be remembered as a guy who helped create a few more leaders in this world . I could do a lot better on that front than I have done in the past – and I intend to do just that going forward .
Last but not least – if there is one true regret above all others , it is that I didn’t spend enough time with my family and our dogs . I can’t go back in time and fix that retrospectively – but I hope to make up for it, and then some, from now on .
Definitely need to lose some weight too – but then , some promises seem to be meant for following year – on a rolling one year basis π
