And Vijay Says…

Devyani Khobragade, and officer of the Indian Foreign Service, got arrested in US ,handcuffed in public before her children, taken into custody, stripped and cavity searched like a criminal drug dealer, and then let off on a $250K bail. Her alleged offence – paying less than minimum wages to her maid, while having documented a higher wage on visa filings for the maid.

I am dumbfounded that this issue was so carelessly handled by both US and India. The word I am looking for is UNDIPLOMATIC.

1. No one is above the law of the land : There is no excuse to pay below minimum wages to anyone. If visa filings for the maid had a higher wage than what was actually paid, then it is clearly wrong and such practices should stop. Why not send the diplomat back to India if that is an option , and never allow her back into US ?

2. Will US government arrest everyone paying less than minimum wages?: Clearly there are a lot of illegal immigrants in this country who don’t make minimum wages. They are allegedly mostly employed by US citizens and US incorporated companies. Will US now go all out and arrest everyone it suspects in that category ?

3. Why would US Marshall do a cavity search in this case ? Diplomat or not – what was the point of cavity search in this case other than to humiliate the woman? The alleged crime was not about dealing with drugs or something like that. Is this appropriate for law enforcement in a civilized country ? Standard Operating Procedure is a poor excuse for what happened.

4. US cannot have it both ways : When Raymond Davis, the CIA contractor , killed 2 people in Pakistan – US demanded diplomatic immunity. Even the Preident of US demanded Pakistan to provide immunity to Davis.  Eventually US paid millions of dollars to get him back into the country.  Here is the wikipedia link with the details http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Allen_Davis_incident With that background , is it fair to now take a stance that the Indian diplomat (a REAL diplomat, unlike Davis who was a contractor)  does not have immunity ?

5. Why does an Indian diplomat need a maid in the first place ? : I am sure she is a busy woman. But then there are plenty of busy women (and men) who work in the US who are not diplomats and they don’t have a maid. Most mid-level people cannot even afford a full time maid. So why do Indian diplomats get maids on official passports? That seems like a remnant of colonial rule and I really wish the Indian government stopped this practice. If there is a lack of will to stop the practice, can’t the government at least pay its diplomats enough to cover the expense of having a maid service?

6. Retaliation to undiplomatic moves from one side is NOT more undiplomatic moves from the other : I am not a diplomat – literally or figuratively. But my impression about diplomats in general is that the one thing they are good at is to keep talking in good times and bad times, and not act in a rash way. Yet – India’s response was rather childish. Rather than keep communication open – they did pretty childish things like removing barricades near US embassy in New Delhi. I also read that Indian government officials stripped US diplomats of special ID cards etc. And Indian ministers and officials refused to meet with congressional delegations from US.

7. Diplomats will kiss and make up quickly, common man in both countries will need more time : It was with utter dismay that I read the comments to articles in the press that reported on this situation. Some accused Indians of being caste crazy and caste system as being the reason for paying the maid below minimum wages. Some also suggested sending back all Indians in US back home and stop outsourcing. The response from Indians accused US of racial discrimination, and ill treating immigrants and so on. The diplomats on both sides will forgive and forget quickly (at least I hope so)- but the longer this stays unresolved – it will divide and polarize the common folk on both sides. Common folk have to work closely with each other tomorrow – and every time these things happen, it takes time to start respecting each other again

8. Is there more than what meets the eye ? :  If this article states the facts right, then I am perplexed with the US actions. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Timeline-of-Devyani-Khobragade-case/articleshow/27601818.cms

9. It is in everyone’s best interest to not forget the big picture.:The political balance in South Asia is delicate, and India is by far the best buddy US has in that region compared to China, Afghanistan and Pakistan. It would be incredibly silly for US to have a less friendly India . India is friendly with Afghanistan – but have tense relations with Pakistan, and a somewhat tense relationship with China.  Similarly India relies on US for a lot of its business in IT and IT enabled services, and other trade. And US does not have a good short to medium term solution if they decide to take away business from Indian IT companies.

10. US should be happy that BJP is not the ruling party in India now: Sadly, same sex relationships are criminal in India. BJP leader Yashwant Sinha has taken a position that US diplomats in India that have same sex partners should be arrested . I hope no one listens to him – but as the time taken to resolve this issue increases, this is the type of rhetoric that will come up, and it just makes it miserable for people who have nothing to do with this issue directly.

My wish list on resolution is pretty straightforward

1. US approves the move of the diplomat to UN , and drops the charges against the diplomat. I don’t think US should apologize to India if the visa filings were false. Future issues of this nature needs to be handled more diplomatically.

2. India stops allowing its diplomats to have maids, or at least pay for the maids and not break the laws of the countries they are posted. India should restore all privileges it allowed US diplomats a week ago, and make sure their safety is well taken care of.

3. We all move on with our lives – and not let this incident create any bad side effects
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Added around 7.30 PM AZ time :

4. Give a work visa to the maid , and help her get a real job.

I should add that there is a net positive in this situation . The US Attorney has effectively given a much needed warning to people who bring servants on visas . These folks should get every protection mandated by the law – whether employed by diplomats or not .

Last Thursday, I hosted a panel in Bangalore on future of innovation in India . One of the panelists was my buddy Abesh B from Kolkata . His comment was “Indians have always been innovative – our word for it being jugaad”. It immediately resonated with me – I could totally visualize his explanation of wearing a helmet while cutting onions to avoid tears . I have seen folks cutting onions next to a burning stove, and the heat apparently burns away the acid that makes your eyes burn .

Jugaad is one side of the coin – it cannot seem to exist in India without impatience as the other side of the coin. So let me give you a taste of the impatience factor .

Growing up in India , the busiest I have seen of any city was Mumbai . A guy who has absolutely nothing to do that day and idling away in bed at his home – when he needs a chai , he will stride out in great hurry and jump the line at the way side chaiwallah and get his tea – only to go back to his bed and idle away . Ok – that was purely fictional , and please don’t flame me for being Anti-Mumbai . That is the impression I got as a resident of the sleepy town of Trivandrum , visiting Mumbai . Many years later – I had the same impression visiting NYC from my sleepy hometown of Chandler, AZ . Everyone is crazy busy – including Indians who live there . It has never stopped fascinating me till date .

When I learned to drive in India in early 90s – I had no idea what lanes meant . I asked many an elder , but was none the wiser till I moved to the US . I have never seen any one stay inside their lane while driving in any city in India. If a road has 3 lanes – on an average there will be 8 vehicles trying to be parallel to each other . How do I know ? I sat in traffic and counted every day last week 🙂

Honking is the national pass time of drivers on Indian roads . We honk if we have to pass someone , to attract the attention of anyone we know who is walking past us while we are driving , we honk when there are 8 cars using 3 lanes in parallel , we honk if we are happy, sad , mad or bored . It is a group event – if anyone honks on the road , everyone else honks too. Everyone honks all the time . Most trucks have a “sound horn to overtake ” sign on their rear ends . It is the most natural thing for Indians to do . It was really hard for me to unlearn this habit when I moved to US . We don’t honk because we think honking will work – it is involuntary , like breathing . All things being equal – the vehicle with the loudest horn wins on the road .

My mom rarely takes me with her to temples any more when I visit . She cannot deal with me picking up arguments with everyone there who will refuse to stay in the queue . I never quite understood why anyone would jump the line in a temple – does Chitraguptan ( who has a similar role to Saint Peter as the gatekeeper to heaven , but for Hindus ) give extra credit on judgment day to those who try to elbow their way to the front while they are alive ? I wonder if he secretly promotes texting while driving too when he needs to hit his KPIs.

And then there are the airlines – all of them . Boarding a plane in India should be able to replace trying out for college football or rugby . It is a full contact sport – with 20+ walkie talkie bearing airline officials trying to act as referees .

It is nothing but absolute unadulterated chaos . I clicked this picture yesterday while trying to board a plane to Delhi . This was roughly 10 seconds after they announced that boarding will begin in 10 minutes . Don’t ask me how many people stepped on their grandmothers to get into that plane 🙂 . That was a small domestic flight . It was much worse boarding the huge Dreamliner from Delhi to Frankfurt . I didn’t have to fight my way in . I took a deep breath and got in the middle of the passengers – the momentum carried me literally to my seat . Along the way, the passengers were yelling at each other and the crew , the crew was yelling at each other and the gate agents , and so on .

What was incredibly funny was this Marwadi business man (who eventually sat next to me) – he was on his phone yelling at someone the entire time in boarding area, and every two minutes he took his attention away from phone to yell at the passengers pushing him, only to return to yelling into the phone . Although the flight attendant tried his best – this dude wouldn’t stop yelling into the phone till he lost his connection at 10000 feet after take off . He immediately fell asleep . I was woken up by his familiar yelling about two minutes before we touched down . He yelled his way to the passport control way ahead of the rest of the passengers .

Indians are incredible at adapting to their environment quickly . Case in point – I have probably honked twice in the entire time I lived outside India . You won’t see Indians jumping the line at the movies in Arizona waiting to get tickets to “Hunger games”. But if it is an Indian movie – usually brought in to the town by an Indian association , with a 100% Indian audience – the elbowing magically returns .

You may be able to take us away from impatience with some effort , but you cannot take impatience away from us . That is how we interpreted it when Steve Jobs said “Stay hungry, stay foolish”.

I am walking into a plane at Frankfurt to SFO – and it honestly feels weird to not have my businessman seat mate from yesterday sitting next to me yelling at everyone . I am tempted to yell and push at some one – you know, just because …. 🙂

I landed in India at the city of Kochi – popularly known as the queen of Arabian Sea . And about an hour later , I delivered the Inaugural address for the international conference organized by the School of Management and Communications Studies . To my pleasant surprise , I was given a very warm traditional welcome by a group of beautiful ladies – who I later found out were top scoring business school students too . Beauty and Brains !!!

My special thanks to the faculty , students and fellow speakers – it was an excellent experience for me , and such an honor . The theme was “building customer trust” – something that is very close to my heart .

I had crowd sourced the keynote – and several friends gave me wonderful ideas on what this audience would like to hear. Judging by their reaction – I think the keynote was well received , and I am firmly convinced that crowd sourcing is the way to go for my future keynotes too.

The quality of service and food in Indian hotels and restaurants never ceases to amaze me . Like last time , this time too I stayed at the Taj Vivanta at Whitefield. Exceptional experience – they have definitely acquired my loyalty and I look forward to next time . The photo below is what I got for breakfast – Masala Dosa and Bonda . And the state of India today is well represented by the fruit preserves kept on the table for folks who like a western breakfast . There is something for everyone here . Plenty of Japanese and Chinese options too .

The highlight of the keynote was Vishal Sikka’s keynote – as always .

I have always been a fan of Vishal’s speeches – and if I could change anything about it, I have two suggestions

1. Vishal should wear a SAP mentors jersey to keynote stage . This year, we got Michael Reh to wear a mentor jersey to his part of the key note – next year , I am counting on Vishal doing that too 🙂

2. Try to cut down the length of time for the keynote to 60 minutes – or maybe 90 minutes at most . This is quite hard given the awesome content – but maybe more than one keynote at the event is the answer .

All parts of the SAP portfolio were well represented in the keynote – proving SAP is both a platform company AND an applications company .

Hopefully the keynote from Bernd Leukert puts to bed the recurring questions on blogs whether SAP has moved away from apps business .

If I were to pick the three highlights from the keynote for me – they were
1. Announcement of SAP Ganges by Abdul Razack (his first keynote I think)

2. Open sourcing part of SAPUI5 as openUI5 by Michael Reh

3. Announcement of River by Jake Klein

All 3 are important first steps in their respective domains – and I am sure those teams are going to execute out of their skins to get all three to live up to their promise .

For all of us who worked hard to make BW on Hana trial a big success (1000 sign ups , 40000 hours used in about 2 months ) – Michael and Vishal gave us a big shout out . Thanks guys 🙂

After his keynote , I got to interview Vishal on SAP teched live TV .

Pls checkout the replay here

http://events.sap.com/teched/en/mobile/session/8854

The highlight for me in this interview was Vishal clearly articulating that BW on Hana is NOT something that is on a death bed . On the contrary, he explicitly called out SAP’s continuing investment in adding innovative capabilities to BW on Hana . We even have a brand new release coming out in few days – BW 7.40 . The BW on Hana pod never had anything less than three deep crowds – which makes me a very happy camper.

Special thanks to the people who made it happen – Ingo , Rohit, Marcus and CAL team, Dan Kearnan , Bill R and marketing team, Praksh D, Daniel R and solution management team, Lothar H, Thomas Z, Klaus N , Stefan Sigg and all others from dev and product teams , and everyone else who came together to make this happen. I am incredibly proud to be a member of this amazing team.

I also got to host a panel on the future of innovation in India . There is work to be done – but the panelists were upbeat on India’s ability to be an innovation powerhouse . Thanks Abesh , Kumud (also wish you a very long and happy married life) and Amit !

Check the replay here

http://events.sap.com/teched/en/mobile/session/8854

And then there was Failfare – learning how to fail fast and fail responsibly – my dear friend Marilyn Pratt’s brain child .

Marilyn couldn’t make it to the event due to a personal emergency , but Jeanne Carboni did a fantastic job to back her up .

I traded my speaking slot with a better speaker – my buddy Yariv Zur (we have a running contest on who is the bigger expert at failing) . Kumud and Jhansi were the other panelists and both were very good . I enjoyed listening to their experiences . Lucky did the emcee job to perfection .

A huge shout out to Neel , Ravi, Rakesh, Joe, Gian , Abhijeet, Gansu and other colleagues who made Ganges a reality . In the one year that I worked at SAP , there is only one project I liked as much as the BW on Hana trial that we did – that was Ganges . It is not every day that amazing technology gets used to fundamentally improve the life of common man – in this case, the mom and pop retail shops in India . You guys made the impossible possible . I am happy to have had a chance to be a cheerleader for you . Rock on guys !

Goes without saying – a big part of the enjoyment of being at teched is hanging out with SAP mentors . It was a blast – thanks folks . Let’s keep those conversations going . Special shout out to Tammy Powlas for staying up late and attending our sessions remotely .

Last but not least – HUGE thanks to Chip Rodgers , Margaret Laffan, Jason Lax , Maggie Fox, Mark Finnern, Andy Dey and other colleagues who made my first teched in India so memorable . I will be back !